Kaji-Hara – Housework Harrassment & Household Training
Woman often complain that “husbands” are not pitching in enough when it comes to housework. In Japan, husbands reluctantly pitch in because of what is called “kaji-hara”. Apparently seventy percent of the husbands surveyed said they had been subjected to kaji-hara, or housework harassment by their wives. The more they are harassed by their wives over not cleaning the dishes properly, the less they want to do it. And some husbands simply stop helping.
Certainly if you are asking for additional help around the house, then the first step describe how to do something. If a husband, fails to to it to your liking, perhaps offering gratitude and proper guidance will encourage the husband to continue striving to do it better. This transcends to anyone that you want to help you with chores. Household training takes patience.
Giving up does not solve the problem. As described in the Japan Times article, “Traditionally, it is husbands who complain about their wives’ housekeeping skills, but that doesn’t mean wives quit doing housework.”
Many double-income families struggle over this issue. I remember the days when playing “super woman” was exhausting. While I simply thought it was best to just do it myself in lieu of constantly reprimanding my husband for not doing it right or “not helping at all”, my relationship would have been better served by expressing the need for help and providing some household training to achieve a better outcome.